Likeness by David Macfarlane

Likeness by David Macfarlane, subtitled “fathers, sons, a portrait”, is a memoir of just that. David, his father, his son and a portrait, one of a series of portraits of writers by John Hartman.

As a reader of this book, I had the advantage of being acquainted, for many years, with both the author and the painter, and share mutual close friends with the author. And, the really tough part is that we both have in common the death of a son as part of our lives. So, as you might imagine, I was dreading the reading of this book. And, there were times that it was difficult. Blake Macfarlane died in 2018 – my own son in 1997, at much the same age and stage of life. So, I do know what David and his wife, and their daughter, have experienced, and what the coming years will probably be like for them. I truly share their grief. It will always be an immeasurable part of who they are.

Likeness is a memoir by a very fine writer, perfectly crafted. We move back and forth in time between David’s childhood in Hamilton, the city where his father grew up - not far from the house where David grew up and where his mother lived all of her adult life - to David’s life during the following years.

John Hartman’s painting was installed in David’s house for a period of time, and during this time David sat and examined it. While simply resting, or thinking, or grieving, he looked at the images in the background of the painting – and at the portrait of himself in the foreground. He contemplated the past, and pondered the very fundamental change that happens when a child dies, as your identity shifts, and you wonder who you have become - bereft.

I would say that this is a book that men are most likely to fully understand, though as David and I are almost exactly the same age all the touchstones of books read, music listened to, and  the world in which we lived as children, and live now, are mine as well as his. There is a lot in this book about creativity, and the creative process of both writing and painting.

Likeness is a book about what it is that makes a family, a marriage, a life. It is about aging and who we become over the years of our life. About what it is, for all of us, to be.